(Anno: we prefer first-person stories but see fit to post this one, because it's exactly the kind of deed/confession this community was created for in the first person, and because it's possible this is actually a first-person confession disguised as third-person...)
my exgirlfriend sent her dog through the x-ray machine at the airport right after her carryon. she just put it on the little conveyor belt and walked through the metal detector, which is just so wrong! and to make matters worse, the xray technician saw the image and backed the belt up to look again, so the poor thing got xrayed twice.
bless me father for i have sinned, i had premarital sex with an underage boy, on the floor of the kitchen of the apartment shared by his sister and her lesbian lover, who had both told me they wanted me but they were both fat but he was hot and young and smooth. he said he was 18 but i knew he was lying because i had been 18 on his 15th birthday and i can do math. we were doing drugs until late the night before or actually until early in the morning, and his sister's alarm clock went off in her bedroom because she had an early job driving kids to school on the short bus, and the only thought that went through my mind was to wonder whether she was a snoozer or if she just got up, and she wasn't a snoozer, a few seconds later she opened the door and saw us on the floor and went back in and closed the door. i heard later she fell back asleep and missed work.
(Anno: just to start, thought I'd post a non-sexual entry, since I expect the sexual may dominate. Pfah, this culture. Not that I discourage those entries, understand, but the way the USA focuses on sex is...well, interesting.)
I buy dry wine because everybody frowns on the kinds of wine i like, but i don't like dry wine so I add sugar to it. I have a shiraz i add sugar to and microwave to warm it so it's kind of like port or sherry. My friends would be absolutely horrified.